Becoming a Spiritual Bouncer
Tomorrow’s events:
Sex, Masculinity, God 2.0 w/ Cadell Last, Kevin Orosz & Daniel Dick. October 29th @ 10:30 AM ET. RSVP here.
A 21st Century Vision of Wisdom w/ Gregg Henriques. October 8th, 15th, 22nd, and 29th. 2:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.
Shame Breakthrough Bootcamp w/ A.J. Bond. Every Thursday @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 60 mins.
The Traumacene w/ Eric Garza. October 29th @ 8:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Newly posted events:
Raw Shadow w/ Arran Rogerson and Alyssa Polizzi. October 30th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.
The Metagame Mastermind: Limbic Unhijacking Edition w/ Peter Limberg. November 1st @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Strange Times: A Contemplative Perspective w/ Shinzen Young. November 24th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
An event to get excited about:
Raw Shadow w/ Arran Rogerson and Alyssa Polizzi. October 30th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.
What are the demons hiding in your closet? How does the collective shadow of society spill out into the conflicts we see around us? Does The Stoa have a shadow?
Arran and Alyssa dive into the personal underworld and explore these questions at The Stoa this Friday for a special Halloween event. Costumes are optional. :)
***
October 28, 2020
In a recent entry I wrote about a “shame bouncer.” The idea here is that this is an anthropomorphized version of the sense of shame that surrounds certain games we want to play, and the existence of this shame bouncer prevents us from playing those games well.
I was chatting with Jordan Hall on Saturday, and it was good catching up with him. That chat inspired a few thoughts, and one thought contained another bouncer metaphor: a spiritual bouncer. I sense the Stoic ability to cultivate a para-egoic state makes us Stoics be good spiritual bouncers.
In an earlier entry I mused on the para-egoic nature of the Stoics:
My working theory is that, done right, Stoicism engenders a para-egoic state of being. It does not aim for non-egoic or trans-egoic states of consciousness, like those the Buddhist traditions seem to advocate. In my experience, following the Stoic algorithm allows the ego to exist, but puts it to one side, so that it does not interfere with one's choice making.
Being para-egoic gives one intimate access to the ego. I sense this allows me to spot egos in others. Egoic game recognizes egoic game. I could be overvaluing my ability here, but I do sense I can sniff an ego out pretty well. This could be why the daemon is not pointing me towards Buddhistic enlightenment stuff, because he wants my ego to be freshly intact, and easily accessible, without it unduly influencing me.
I sense this not only helps me “hold space,” for whatever “field” is emerging at The Stoa, but it helps me protect the space as well.
I jumped in The Stoa’s Discord last night, in the voice channel, and a bunch of the regulars were there. Somebody referenced my journal entry on cult musings, and he said the difference between a cult and culture is scale. I do not think that is the case. I think the main difference is what I wrote in that cult entry: A culture keeps all of the egos in check. A cult makes all of the egos subservient to one.
I feel a sense of protection towards this field emerging at The Stoa, and it makes me want to keep all of the egos in check, including my own. I see a few challenges related to ego: ones that are internal and external to me, and then ones that are internal and external to The Stoa.
The internal-to-me challenge is getting egoically hijacked, and from that compromised place, I might start making decisions from the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, wrath, etc. I am attempting to get into the right relationship with all of the positive compliments I have been receiving here, and feeling into the “high” of them, and not letting that high skew how I am attempting to virtuously listen to the daemon.
I sense these journals are helping me, as a way to process the salient things which are happening to me while I engage in this “Game B entrepreneurial” venture. Also, I cultivate a certain truthful vibe in these journals, and I sense it will become evident, for me and for others, if that truthful vibe goes away, as it is a hard vibe to fake.
The challenges external to me can be divided into challenges that are internal and external to The Stoa itself. To start with the challenges internal to The Stoa, I sense two at the moment: a “sense of community” and the shadow it brings, and the onboarding of certain spiritual energies, and the shadow that those energies bring.
I use the sense of community phrase instead of just community because I do not like using the word community here. What does that even mean? Does community at The Stoa include the people who come to some of the events, or does it only refer to the people who come to a lot of the events? Does it also include people who used to come to The Stoa, and who have influenced it, but no longer attend?
What about people who only watch the YouTube videos, or only read my journals, or support via Patreon and do not actively attend, watch, or read but feel this project is worthwhile to support anyway? I do not want to get too nerdy with conceptual boundary-work here, but I do not vibe with how other online platforms throw around the community term: pay us money to get behind our paywall and join our community!
The foundational theoretical work regarding a “sense of community” comes from McMillan and Chavis, and they determined that there are five aspects to this sense: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection. Maybe we should get all social sciencey and take the Sense of Community Index (SCI), but we do not need to do that, because a sense of community is forming around The Stoa, and those five things are present amongst some of the regulars.
When I feel into the sense of community that is forming, a feeling emerges that is best described as the following: this is very lovely. When I experience this feeling, a part of me wants to shut down my mind, and just swim in the loveliness. A tiny warning bell rings when this happens though, and this warning bell usually rings whenever my prudence feels like it could be disarmed.
The people who are getting to know each other here, and who are feeling this sense of community, are also smuggling in their unexamined shadows, and some of these shadows are masked in highly sophisticated ways, with over 10,000 hours of practice in the masking. I flag this not to be an existential curmudgeon, but in service to inspire a collective self-examination.
I am ultimately optimistic here, because the beautiful people who have a sense of community around The Stoa are reading these hyper-self aware journals of mine, and they also happen to be highly intelligent, holistically developed, and are “grey pilled,” which brings a meta-awareness, along with a meta-wariness.
As well, a sense of community is different from communitas. Ideally I’d like to see both form here, but if I had to choose what to prioritize, I prioritize communitas. And this steward will surely make mistakes, and piss people off in pursuing this, and may invoke some collective shadow-play in the process, which is probably a good thing.
The second internal challenge I currently see is onboarding certain spiritual energies. We are attracting more spiritually inclined people, and I sense more will be coming. This is beautiful, as this energy has a delicious femininity about it.
I do believe there are certain people who are better, and more inclined, to feel into various fields, and I also sense there are shadows that come along with people who can do this well. To use social justice lingo: some of these people have been traumatized by patriarchy and toxic masculinity, either directly or indirectly, through the systems they are living in.
It seems like a bias forms against more “masculine” temperaments, who have a proclivity for “system 2” thinking, and because of this a judgment against judgment itself forms. This is not the wisest way forward. I think we can bifurcate judging if something is right or wrong, or good or bad, and judging somebody's entire being, which has that ugly energy. Unfortunately, the former—despite if it is delivered in good faith—can be collapsed to feel like the latter for some. We do need the former, or nothing will get done, and ultimately the space cannot be held, nor protected.
Which brings us to the last challenge I see here with this egoic stuff. This is the external egoic challenge, which is all that hungry ghost stuff. I do think a spiritual policy of wise exclusion is necessary here. It should go without saying that hyper-compassion is self-defeating, as places like The Stoa are currently not equipped, and may never be equipped, to help heal certain people, especially ones who carry a malicious intent, and have a desire to do harm.
I used to feel deeply unlikable and unlovable, and a “motivated-by-shame” schema fueled me to figure out how to feel and become likable and lovable. Now, at the edge of my development is me shedding this desire to stay likable and lovable. Spiritual bouncers are respected, and sometimes they will not be liked or loved, and that is okay, because striving to be virtuous is far wiser than striving to be anything else.
***
patreon.com/the_stoa
Garza. October 29th @ 8:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Newly posted events:
Raw Shadow w/ Arran Rogerson and Alyssa Polizzi. October 30th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.
The Metagame Mastermind: Limbic Unhijacking Edition w/ Peter Limberg. November 1st @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Strange Times: A Contemplative Perspective w/ Shinzen Young. November 24th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
An event to get excited about:
Raw Shadow w/ Arran Rogerson and Alyssa Polizzi. October 30th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.
What are the demons hiding in your closet? How does the collective shadow of society spill out into the conflicts we see around us? Does The Stoa have a shadow?
Arran and Alyssa dive into the personal underworld and explore these questions at The Stoa this Friday for a special Halloween event. Costumes are optional. :)
***
October 28, 2020
In a recent entry I wrote about a “shame bouncer.” The idea here is that this is an anthropomorphized version of the sense of shame that surrounds certain games we want to play, and the existence of this shame bouncer prevents us from playing those games well.
I was chatting with Jordan Hall on Saturday, and it was good catching up with him. That chat inspired a few thoughts, and one thought contained another bouncer metaphor: a spiritual bouncer. I sense the Stoic ability to cultivate a para-egoic state makes us Stoics be good spiritual bouncers.
In an earlier entry I mused on the para-egoic nature of the Stoics:
My working theory is that, done right, Stoicism engenders a para-egoic state of being. It does not aim for non-egoic or trans-egoic states of consciousness, like those the Buddhist traditions seem to advocate. In my experience, following the Stoic algorithm allows the ego to exist, but puts it to one side, so that it does not interfere with one's choice making.
Being para-egoic gives one intimate access to the ego. I sense this allows me to spot egos in others. Egoic game recognizes egoic game. I could be overvaluing my ability here, but I do sense I can sniff an ego out pretty well. This could be why the daemon is not pointing me towards Buddhistic enlightenment stuff, because he wants my ego to be freshly intact, and easily accessible, without it unduly influencing me.
I sense this not only helps me “hold space,” for whatever “field” is emerging at The Stoa, but it helps me protect the space as well.
I jumped in The Stoa’s Discord last night, in the voice channel, and a bunch of the regulars were there. Somebody referenced my journal entry on cult musings, and he said the difference between a cult and culture is scale. I do not think that is the case. I think the main difference is what I wrote in that cult entry: A culture keeps all of the egos in check. A cult makes all of the egos subservient to one.
I feel a sense of protection towards this field emerging at The Stoa, and it makes me want to keep all of the egos in check, including my own. I see a few challenges related to ego: ones that are internal and external to me, and then ones that are internal and external to The Stoa.
The internal-to-me challenge is getting egoically hijacked, and from that compromised place, I might start making decisions from the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, wrath, etc. I am attempting to get into the right relationship with all of the positive compliments I have been receiving here, and feeling into the “high” of them, and not letting that high skew how I am attempting to virtuously listen to the daemon.
I sense these journals are helping me, as a way to process the salient things which are happening to me while I engage in this “Game B entrepreneurial” venture. Also, I cultivate a certain truthful vibe in these journals, and I sense it will become evident, for me and for others, if that truthful vibe goes away, as it is a hard vibe to fake.
The challenges external to me can be divided into challenges that are internal and external to The Stoa itself. To start with the challenges internal to The Stoa, I sense two at the moment: a “sense of community” and the shadow it brings, and the onboarding of certain spiritual energies, and the shadow that those energies bring.
I use the sense of community phrase instead of just community because I do not like using the word community here. What does that even mean? Does community at The Stoa include the people who come to some of the events, or does it only refer to the people who come to a lot of the events? Does it also include people who used to come to The Stoa, and who have influenced it, but no longer attend?
What about people who only watch the YouTube videos, or only read my journals, or support via Patreon and do not actively attend, watch, or read but feel this project is worthwhile to support anyway? I do not want to get too nerdy with conceptual boundary-work here, but I do not vibe with how other online platforms throw around the community term: pay us money to get behind our paywall and join our community!
The foundational theoretical work regarding a “sense of community” comes from McMillan and Chavis, and they determined that there are five aspects to this sense: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection. Maybe we should get all social sciencey and take the Sense of Community Index (SCI), but we do not need to do that, because a sense of community is forming around The Stoa, and those five things are present amongst some of the regulars.
When I feel into the sense of community that is forming, a feeling emerges that is best described as the following: this is very lovely. When I experience this feeling, a part of me wants to shut down my mind, and just swim in the loveliness. A tiny warning bell rings when this happens though, and this warning bell usually rings whenever my prudence feels like it could be disarmed.
The people who are getting to know each other here, and who are feeling this sense of community, are also smuggling in their unexamined shadows, and some of these shadows are masked in highly sophisticated ways, with over 10,000 hours of practice in the masking. I flag this not to be an existential curmudgeon, but in service to inspire a collective self-examination.
I am ultimately optimistic here, because the beautiful people who have a sense of community around The Stoa are reading these hyper-self aware journals of mine, and they also happen to be highly intelligent, holistically developed, and are “grey pilled,” which brings a meta-awareness, along with a meta-wariness.
As well, a sense of community is different from communitas. Ideally I’d like to see both form here, but if I had to choose what to prioritize, I prioritize communitas. And this steward will surely make mistakes, and piss people off in pursuing this, and may invoke some collective shadow-play in the process, which is probably a good thing.
The second internal challenge I currently see is onboarding certain spiritual energies. We are attracting more spiritually inclined people, and I sense more will be coming. This is beautiful, as this energy has a delicious femininity about it.
I do believe there are certain people who are better, and more inclined, to feel into various fields, and I also sense there are shadows that come along with people who can do this well. To use social justice lingo: some of these people have been traumatized by patriarchy and toxic masculinity, either directly or indirectly, through the systems they are living in.
It seems like a bias forms against more “masculine” temperaments, who have a proclivity for “system 2” thinking, and because of this a judgment against judgment itself forms. This is not the wisest way forward. I think we can bifurcate judging if something is right or wrong, or good or bad, and judging somebody's entire being, which has that ugly energy. Unfortunately, the former—despite if it is delivered in good faith—can be collapsed to feel like the latter for some. We do need the former, or nothing will get done, and ultimately the space cannot be held, nor protected.
Which brings us to the last challenge I see here with this egoic stuff. This is the external egoic challenge, which is all that hungry ghost stuff. I do think a spiritual policy of wise exclusion is necessary here. It should go without saying that hyper-compassion is self-defeating, as places like The Stoa are currently not equipped, and may never be equipped, to help heal certain people, especially ones who carry a malicious intent, and have a desire to do harm.
I used to feel deeply unlikable and unlovable, and a “motivated-by-shame” schema fueled me to figure out how to feel and become likable and lovable. Now, at the edge of my development is me shedding this desire to stay likable and lovable. Spiritual bouncers are respected, and sometimes they will not be liked or loved, and that is okay, because striving to be virtuous is far wiser than striving to be anything else.
***
patreon.com/the_stoa