Betting on the Daemonic Algorithm
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Stoic Breath w/ Steve Beattie. Every Sunday @ 10:00 AM ET.RSVP here.
Vulvantine’s Day Party w/ Jote Lamar and Lara Catone. February 14th @ 3:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Exit the Void: Meme Daddy w/ Don Caldwell. February 14th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
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Psychotech Workshopping: The Stoic Hustle w/ Peter Limberg and the Stoic Hustlers. February 20th @ 10:00 AM ET. Patreon event.
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February 13th, 2021
This may be a random entry, as a few themes are running parallel for me at the moment.
There is a sense of something unraveling, which does not feel like a bad thing, and the unraveling is going slow enough. Shedding might be a better word to use, but the word unraveling resonates more, because it feels unpredictable. Maybe unfolding is the best word to use here.
There is another thing going on, and that is a desire to be prepared. I do not want to get too comfortable in enjoying things. I recall how frantic the world was when COVID first came online, and I felt very unprepared. I do not want to feel like that again. Something else could happen, both on a global and personal level. I do not want to sink into unconscious comforts and live life on zombie mode.
I want to achieve a heavenly life, and being in zombie mode is not going to help me achieve this. I do not know what will, but I am betting on the following: follow this wild intuition which I have been calling “the daemon” while being truthful as if my life depends on it. I am also betting that doing this will put me on the “glocal spectrum,” and will deploy me in helping to solve the meta-crisis, in the modest way that I can help solve it.
I referred to this as the “daemonic algorithm” before at a Metagame Mastermind session. The question may emerge for those with rationally inclined temperaments: Do I have any rock-solid evidence or fail-proof reasoning to support this daemonic algorithm?
No. I do not. Hence the word “bet.”
In essence, I still do not know how to live my life, as I mentioned in my very first entry here back in March 23rd ...
What seems like months, but in reality was only a week or so ago, I received some personal bad news, which I will not burden you with now. This was before COVID-19 received pandemic status and before the collective panic set in. I went through a mini existential crisis because of this news and felt an inability to act on anything. A thought occurred to me: I do not know how to live my life. I have always felt this in some form or other, but never verbalized it in that way.
Confessing this again feels good, and it is allowing me to feel into aporia, and this aporia is still so delicious. I went on to write in that entry ...
I have read many philosophy and self-help books, tried a variety of spiritual practices and goal-setting methodologies and have been lucky to have some great mentors, but I was still left with the feeling that I do not know how to live life well. There was something freeing about admitting this. There was always judgment associated with this lack of knowledge. An adjacent thought occurred soon after: nobody else knows how to live my life either. An existential weight was lifted for me at that moment.
I gestured towards following the daemonic algorithm a few entries after the first one, by simply stating the following: It is hard to think straight these days. I have handed the keys over to my daemon. This spiritual modus operandi seems to be working well enough, but I do not know if it will unravel me in the right way or in the wrong way. I am not trying to sell this way of living to you, nor am I trying to proselytize it. It is not my style to proselytize things.
Perhaps my Eastern Orthodox Christianity is an influence here. Compared to the Catholics, Orthos do not really have a strong missionary culture. Herman of Alaska and Nicholas of Japan are some exceptions, but for the most part us Orthos keep to ourselves. The Stoics are kind of similar. The Modern Stoic movement is trying to change that, and certain $toics are making coin off Stoicism, but whatever, the earnest followers are largely following the embodied advice of Epictetus.
The other theme that is occurring for me can be expressed as such: okay bucko, clean your room and get shit done. The Stoic Hustle sessions have been so good for this. We did this Monday to Friday last week, for at least 3-hours a day, and these sessions have been very helpful for me in cultivating a thumos momentum throughout the day. The regulars at these sessions are enjoying them as well.
This Stoic “ta eis heauton” journaling practice is feeling awkward to squeeze into my life at the moment. My best work happens in the morning, and writing is not best done with Stoic hustling. I am so behind in checking my emails again, along with other administrative matters. Since I am in a get shit done mode, and shit does need to get done, it is prudent for me to prioritize that. I am going to take a week off of journaling in order to focus on this.
I sense a huge getting shit done phase is on the horizon. There are many things for me to manifest in the world. When I have announced that I am going to take a break from journaling before, I usually end up being back a day or so later. Knowing how fickle I am with this, I will probably be back tomorrow.
We’ll see. I do not know how to live my life well enough to know what I will do tomorrow, and this sense of unknowingness does seem to be exactly the right thing for me to have right now.
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