Lines in the Dark

My sleep paralysis episodes have returned—a condition I've dealt with my entire life. Interestingly, it only seems to affect three people in my family: my late babushka, my mother, and myself, arguably the three most “empathic” members in my family. I prematurely thought the episodes had ended, but I was mistaken. However, they appear to be getting more interesting.

Camille and I recently spent two weeks at the family cottage, where I had a series of experiences. The most intense was feeling an unseen malicious force choking me. During sleep paralysis, you’re in a state between wakefulness and sleep, and your body is paralyzed with fear. I usually try to call out Camille’s name, and she hears me struggling to say it, which prompts her to wake me up.

These days, the episodes are different—after the initial shock of fear, I fill my body with love and then experience righteous anger. It’s like, seriously? No one gave you consent to come into my room and choke me. Who does that? Go away.

In the recent encounter, fueled by anger, I wrestled the invisible assailant to the side and woke up rattled. I touched Camille, who was wearing noise-canceling earplugs, to see if she was awake, and she got unusually freaked out. We chatted briefly, and I said I’d tell her what happened in the morning. With my neck feeling funny, I went back to sleep, still feeling a presence lurking in the room. 

In the morning, Camille told me she felt the presence as well, distinctly feeling that something was at her feet. More unsettlingly, around the time I was having the sleep paralysis attack, she was having difficulty sleeping, and in her earplug silence was when she heard a demonic-sounding voice in her head loudly saying, “Hello.” This was her first time encountering anything like this, as she does not experience sleep paralysis.

The next night, I experienced sleep paralysis again, with the loving anger quickly following. When the demonic entity appeared, it felt as though a Christ-consciousness filled my body, leading to a spiritual battle that jolted me awake. I contacted my spiritual brother,

Lubomir Arsov

, and shared my experiences with him. He mused that perhaps these visits are happening because I've been poking around in unseen realms with The Entity Pill explorations. 

I can be a good skeptic and appreciate the scientific explanations for such phenomena: waking up from REM sleep too fast with lingering muscle atonia, or perhaps an unconscious mechanism to process stress or trauma. For those who experience “recurrent isolated sleep paralysis” (RISP) like I do, the recommendations include the usual suspects: improving sleep conditions, exercising, meditating, CBT, and so on.

Still, I choose to view these recent encounters as a sign of spiritual progress. I feel less fear now, and with a loving anger, I am here to draw lines in the dark, reclaiming sacred territory back from the demonic foes—even if it’s just my bedroom for now.

The Entity Pill series restarts next week …

Confirmed sessions:

• Feeding Your Demons w/ Lama Tsultrim Allione. September 4th @ 12 pm ET.

• Intersubjective Entities w/ Evan McMullen. September 11th @ 12 pm ET.

• Entities of Schizophrenia w/ Jerry Marzinsky. September 14th @ 12 pm ET.

• Demonic Dreams w/ Patrick McNamara. September 18th @ 12 pm ET.

• Egregores w/ Mark Stavish. September 25th @ 12 pm ET.

• The Invisible Others w/ T.M. Luhrmann. October 8th @ 12 PM ET.

• Unseen Warfare w/ Justin Marler. TBD.

• More to come …

This series will be an act of “private philosophy,” and you’ll need to apply to attend. Applications are open to Less Foolish members and can be found behind the paywall below.