Being a Philosophical Rockstar
Hey beautiful people,
Another beautiful day at the Stoa. Nora Bateson and Brad Blanton came in for a talk. And two new psychotechnologies were introduced: Relational Exegesis and Concept Unfolding.
Also, I am adding all the videos to our YouTube channel, plus some one-off conversations. Be sure to check out the Love Thy Shame conversation I had with A.J. Bond. It was awesome.
Tomorrow’s events:
A Theory of Knowledge for the 21st Century w/ Gregg Henriques. May 14th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
Shame Breakthrough Bootcamp w/ A.J. Bond. Every Thursday @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
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May 13, 2020
I feel self-conscious writing today. I got a beer with A.J. yesterday, over Zoom, and the topic of these journals came up. He said there was a rockstar quality reading these. Which is a much different experience talking to me in person, as I do not talk like a rockstar.
I only write what I believe to be true. The most important thing to me is that each word feels right. But yeah, there does seem like a rockstar quality, and the thought of being a philosophical rockstar, despite how cheesy that may sound, feels good.
If true, then why is this the case? The spirit of writing these journals—or the philosophical justification, or the pretense—is that I am engaging in a Stoic practice that Marcus Aurelius engaged in with his Meditations. Ta eis heauton, or things to one's self, is a way to keep oneself pure with his word, and to become embodied in his philosophy, via the epistolary form.
But I am writing to myself, or I am ostensibly writing to myself, with the understanding that others will read these entries afterwards. While I know how much people are reading these on a daily basis, I have no idea who is reading them. Anybody with an internet connection who can read in English can read these.
I am writing these with the understanding that your eyes are here, which are unknown eyes, as I do not know who you are. For some reason this is making me want to write like a rockstar. The masters of suspicions are now looking at me, they are one part of my philosophical lineage, and I would argue that their philosophical suspicions are embedded in our cultural DNA.
The three masters: Karl Marx, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Sigmund Freud, all called out the bullshit truths that we are conscious of, which are favorable and self-congratulatory. In essence, they attempted to disabuse our falseness of consciousness in all its manifestations. I do think it is good to be suspicious, but not too suspicious. I have a few smart friends who make these moves all the time, reducing all motivations to some unconscious process. This does not strike me as wise or chartiable, and it is an attempt to undermine the daemons efforts.
I am still not answering the question of why I am playing the rockstar, but now I do not think it's completely accurate to say that I am always writing like a rockstar. Not all entries are written equally, and I have been writing these with the spirit to express a range of emotions—cartoonishly so at times. I am doing this to summon these emotions forth, so I can build a relationship with them and integrate them once and for all.
I do think I am trying to seduce you though, and I am not going to be shy in saying that I want to be desired and loved. Is this coming from a place of neediness, an unhealthy desire for attention or validation from unknown eyes? Maybe it is coming from a strategic place, an advanced metagame move to find the others, and then seduce them. Maybe you need to be a philosophical rockstar in order to court communitas.
I do not know what I am doing, and a part of me does not care. I do know I am concerned about unhealthy parasocial relationships forming. These are relationships where a person feels they are relating to a public persona, and there is a one-sidedness. A viewer of a TV character for example, feels all these things, but the TV character does not exist, and the actor playing the character does not have a chance to feel the viewer.
Quite a few people reading these told me that they had the following thought: is he writing about me? No, I am probably not. Sometimes I am writing to a particular person. Or more specifically to particular women, or the divine feminine herself. Other times I am writing to God, or to everyone and everything.
Maybe this strange style is creating a sense of uncertain intimacy, and maybe this is seductive—or maybe its fucking annoying. I do know I like writing like this, and I also know I am uncomfortable having a parasocial relationship with you.
I think the project of the Stoa, and my philosophical quest to reinvent Stoicism itself, is poised to gain more attention. I am confident I have the capacity to become famous, or to speak with much more humility: I think I have the capacity to at least become semi-famous. I am very well connected, and can leverage my current status well. I can go on a podcast circuit now, if I wanted to, and I can attempt to lean on my network to get the attention of legacy media. The attention algorithm towards fame is not a secret.
I do not want to become famous, even though a part of me desires it. I was talking to A.J. and Raven about this, both who are extremely talented and really good-looking. They could be famous if they wanted to be, but like myself, they are hesitant. My sense is that they do not want the noise, and unwanted attention, that comes from fame. The trade-offs are ugly, and the cult state licks their lips when they see somebody who has star potential getting attention.
Stoicism advises us not to be concerned about the impressions we impress upon others, because that is out of our control. Stoics do not pursue fame for fame's sake, but if we are going to win the liminal war, an in-between strategy might be needed. I have currently adopted a minimal viable spectacle approach: just do enough to get some attention, in order to transmute it into something good, something beautiful.
It is risky, but these days I get turned on when taking risks.
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