Making Out With Impossible Love
Hey friends,
The Stoa was operating at a more relaxed pace this summer. Starting next week however things will pick up again and The Stoa is about to get really epic. We currently have …
3 “Sensemaker in Residence” series. More coming!
12 recurring weekly events.
13 upcoming events. With LOTS more in the pipeline.
You can see all of these events on the website. The epicness starts with this one …
Man. This is going to be a fun event. You can RSVP here:
Playing the Infinite Game During the Meaning Crisis. August 18th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
This fall you will be seeing a lot from The Stoa. If you have benefited from its offerings and would like to see it release its full potential, consider supporting via Patreon. Another way to support is to get the word out. Tell your friends, family, and lovers that The Stoa is the place where delicious sensemaking is happening.
Events for this Wednesday and Thursday:
Social Design Club w/ Freyja and Joe Edelman. Every Wednesday @ 1:30 PM ET. RSVP here. Join the club here. 90 mins.
Relational Exegesis w/ Freyja. Every Wednesday @ 4:30 PM ET. RSVP here.** 90 mins.
Live Emotional Processing w/ Doug Tataryn. Select Thursdays @ 2:15 PM ET. RSVP here. 30 mins. Starts on August 13th.
Shame Breakthrough Bootcamp w/ A.J. Bond. Every Thursday @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 60 mins.
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August 11, 2020
This scene from Disturbing Behavior displays my romantic interests when I was young: the handsome guy who rocks normcore aesthetics and does not fit in with brainwashed cool kids gets the hots for the hot rocker chick with complex issues.
This was a recurring theme, and the romantic juxtaposition of impossible love always turned me on. When I was 19 years old there was this one girl I was particularly crazy about. We met on this early social networking website for emo kids called the Makeoutclub.
I liked my Bright Eyes for sure, and I hung out awkwardly at awkward indie rock concerts, but I never considered myself an emo kid. I did not vibe with the normies but I looked like one, so I was this weird normie guy chasing after weird emo chicks.
I had a dream about this girl last night. She was laying down in the grass by herself. We got excited when we saw each other. I sensed we were both lonely. I laid down beside her and we chatted, got caught up, and of course started making out. It was a good make out session, and I woke up when it started to get really good.
Last time we made out in waking life was over 15 years ago now, and it is funny how innocent crushes of impossible love can come rushing back. Something about this dream felt helpful, because it felt like something got lifted after I woke up.
In my earlier entries I was blabbing about getting into the right relationship with the feminine. I think I made some progress there, but really I do not think I moved the needle much, as recurring hurts and unhelpful indulgences still happen.
Doug Tataryn said at one of his previous sessions at The Stoa that two areas that catalyze personal growth are being an entrepreneur and being in an intimate relationship. Makes sense. I woke up at 4 AM after that dream and I received a message from Nick Jankel, who resonated with my last entry on thumos. He sent me a passage from his book:
Thumos, when clarified and purified, turns from indignant rage to inspired courage. It is a “spiritedness” that drives us to act, to stand up, and be counted as heart-led activists, but without needing to accrue all the benefits ourselves in the form of revolutionary recognition or wealth. With a whole heart, leaders can challenge impoverished materialism with empathy and integrity rather than with anger and violence.
Clarified and purified thumos. This is where it is at. Later on in the passage: “Our purpose projects (and purposeful relationships) keep throwing up more personal challenges to transcend so we can develop new strengths in areas where once we lacked. The cycle is eternal. The more we transform, the more power we have to support other people to transform too.”
This warmed my heart, receiving this. This thing I am doing is filling me with thumos and this thumos puts me in situations that are throwing personal challenges my way. I’ve experienced a lot already. Writing these journals helps and it is nice to know you are here with me.
It makes me want to make out with impossible love. I am not ready to give up on my romantic side. I have too much fucking thumos to do something like that.
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