Being Authentic
My friends,
Another fun day at The Stoa. Zak Stein came in again and discussed Metapolitics (video here) and Joe Edelman came in afterward and debuted a new game we can play during this pandemic.
Upcoming events for the next three days:
Institutions and Situational Awareness w/ Samo Burja. April 15th @ 1:00 PM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
The Narcissistic Spotlight w/ A.J. Bond. April 15th @ 7:00 PM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
COVID-19 and Metamodernism: A Commentary w/ Daniel Gortz. April 16th @ 10 AM ET. RSVP here.
The Gift Economy w/ Andrew Taggart. April 16th @ 4:30 PM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
COVID to Post-Capitalism: Embodying a New World w/ Rhys Lindmark. April 16th @ 6:30 PM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
Psychotechnology Playground w/ Bonnita Roy. April 17th @ 10:00 AM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
Trauma Drama w/ Patrick Ryan. April 17th @ 8:30 PM ET. Learn more. RSVP here.
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April 14, 2020
I am writing this with a heavy sweetness, and an earnest Canadian innocence. I am visiting so many emotional realities right now: maybe it is too dramatic to say that this has been a rollercoaster, but it has been something akin to that. These experiences are coated in joy though—even the sadness and rage.
My friend Dayne, the co-founder of the website which is hosting these journals, showed me the viewer stats for them, and said that they are currently the most consistently read content on Letter. A part of me wishes he had not shown me that. What I like about this platform is that I have no idea who is actually reading. I think this lack of engagement helps keep the spirit pure.
Now that I know that quite a few people are reading, I am getting self-conscious, or letter-conscious. I am worried that I will write a boring entry, and I am worried that you will judge me for it. I am already machinating on how I can make this interesting for you. Do you want to be entertained, or are you getting something out of witnessing me do my best to map each word to what deeply feels most true?
I do not want to be boring for you, but I am now getting annoyed. Am I boring? Good. Let us be fucking boring. I do not want to entertain you. I am not here to be your dancing monkey. I want to tell you to fuck off and go away if that is what you are here for. As they say, philosophy is not a spectator sport. I want you in here with me, I do not want you to watch me like some authenticity pervert.
I do not want your projections, your hopes, your unowned judgements. I just want you, here, with me, now. That is it. It is hard to stay here. I can feel you escaping, I can feel me escaping. Let us not judge the escapement, let us just escape, and seduce ourselves back, with the weight of each truthful word.
Now that I have you, I want to let you go, and sacrifice in front of you. The act of being truthful is a sacrifice of tomorrow, its escapist hopes, and its first-principled excuses as to why you are not doing what the daemon is asking you to do, which is what you know you deeply want to do.
Imprisoned by expectations, by the limiting scripts that were not written by you, but borrowed. Do you want to be a lifeless actor, playing a role that does not bring you life, just because you have skillfully memorized the lines? I hope we all just let out a collective fuck that right now.
Here, I am handing us the matches, let us burn those scripts that provide us with a sense of guarantee. Join me in this adventure into the unknown, and let us become authentic: the meaning of the word authentic after all, comes from the idea of authoring one's own life.
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