The Opposition Is the Way
Tomorrow’s events:
Bioenergetic Workout w/ Devaraj Sandberg. December 5th @ 10:00 AM ET. RSVP here.
The Bridge: Rationality to "Woo" w/ Evan McMullen. December 5th @ 4:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
The Glass Bead Game w/ Laurence Currie-Clark and The Arch. Every Saturday @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 120 mins
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December 4, 2020
I am feeling frustrated, and it has a primordial quality to it. I could not sleep last night because of this. This frustration is making me want to write stupid things, in a childish way.
It is also making me want to turn to stale advice, from those who built their careers and egos off giving advice. But that madman Klaus Kinski comes rushing to mind. He is probably my favourite actor, and this quote of his is probably my favourite quote of all time: I don't need anybody to tell me how to be alive.
He did not waste his time reading self-help books on how to live; he just lived. I've wasted too much time on bad books, and I am done with them. I foolishly want to give a big fat “fuck you” to all the advice givers at the moment, and tell them to stop trying to memetically invade my mind.
I can sniff out those who get egoic highs off giving concealed advice pretty well these days. I used to be one of those people, and game recognizes game. I do not think I do this anymore, as I went through too many self-distrust phases to take my own advice too seriously. I do not want to be in the advice business.
I am probably a hypocrite here. Don’t these journals come across as advice porn sometimes? I do not know. I am too embarrassed to read what I previously wrote to find out. I am engaged in that “ta eis heauton” Stoic shit though, and my words are to myself. I am trying on self-advice like I would try on a new shirt. Sometimes it fits, and sometimes it does not. I trust you to use your discernment in deciding if you want to try it on for yourself.
I am called to write now not because of this advice thing though. I sense I am here because of the primordial frustration I am experiencing. I have been privately journaling, in an aggressive way, about raw and uncomfortable things. I am being intrapersonally relentless with myself, and I am experiencing a flood of unexpected emotions. I get a catharsis on a certain issue, then boom, I get slapped with some surprising emotional shit that is pretty intense.
I still have go go go energy right now, but it is coupled with a newfound analysis paralysis. Maybe I am writing here to attempt to make all of this seem beautiful. I looked up the word frustration, and it says it is an emotion that occurs when you experience opposition. Perhaps the best way forward is to slightly repurpose a classic Stoic motto and adopt the following disposition: the opposition is the way.
With that being said, I will try on the following self-advice: I will not capitulate to what is opposing me, but I will view it as an opportunity for growth.
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