Step aside, Marcus Aurelius; Gabi Abrão from notes on shapeshifting is my new guide on how to be online. From her piece, "how to share your work online": you're not special. this is a very, very good thing. people who feel special suffer extensively to maintain the special-feeling. you are just another echo in this series of caves we're all stepping in and out of. this is a very, very good thing.
I’ve been calling it cultural narcissism to avoid the particular pathological definition that strives to describe narcissism as an untreatable illness. In my taxonomy it is a learned and required behaviour in certain occupations. A film director being my prime example. Directors have to believe that their opinion is special. That’s their job.
Cultural narcissism has a nice ring. And it makes sense that the director believes their opinion is special, especially if they have a certain audience they want to reach, but that is a different thing than believing their self is special. Or do you view them as the same?
🤔 not sure of the same samo. Perhaps the interesting but singular perspective of a solo creator. Directors are collaborators. Even I can see that at the moment culturally, narcissism seems to be a catch all term that needs to be disambiguated.
Aug 23, 2023·edited Aug 23, 2023Liked by Peter N Limberg
This is what I was going to say. I lean towards there being some amount of greater potential to create generally-accepted beauty through potential narcissism in the medium that one wants to create that beauty in. For example when I look at this painting I think it's beautiful but I refuse to believe this man was not arrogant while creating it because in his position I would've been: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2d/Miranda_-_The_Tempest_JWW.jpg
I agree that narcissist people can create beautiful things, and perhaps even more beautiful things than others. I still think its a mistaken belief. I also think one can create extremely beautiful things and not be narcissistic.
I think there’s a simple (yet somewhat difficult) way to know if you have gone too far on the special feeling spectrum: would you do what you do regardless if it reaches other people or satisfies your other means? Doing it for the sake of doing the task?
I can't believe you would post this in peak Leo season (the most special and narcissistic of all signs), when both the Sun and Moon were practically touching under the sign of Leo. As a Leo Moon, I feel personally attacked.
I experienced "Non-novel doing, novel response = Surprised Special-Feeling" today yet didn't have the words to describe why it was so unexpected and joyful. Ah, now that you've unpacked this along the edge of your perch I see it likely came as result of a lifetime of little usual non special alone things that inspired someone to do something special I didn't even know about until the surprise arrived. You've offered a new lens I appreciate & will use to see more clearly. Thank you!
Nice article. How I think about this area is informed by a slightly different Buddhist take on egolessness than you've articulated here. That is, it's just not about the self - if you're trying to not have a self, if you're trying to under-inflate the self, if you're getting inflated sense of self, it's all about the self still. Tether your reference not to a sense of self at all, but something else. I like the "internal sense of satisfaction with quality of the work", similar to what you articulate, but it could also be to an external standard, like exist in academia, or perhaps to virtue, or the three transcendentals.
Peter, you are to my thoughts the opposite of the second law of thermodynamics. My thoughts follow the law and acquire entropy every time, but you reverse that process. I am afraid I am getting addicted to your texts and reflections as much as to my osteopath.
The bonus is that you always make me wander whether I fit on each category you describe.
I concur with Richard. Unless you have been intimately involved with an actual narcissist, the word can be used causally and is essentially misunderstood. Once you have endured its special brand of abuse, it’s no longer funny or appropriate to cross-purpose the word so much. We need distinction and specificity for it to mean anything at all.
Why do you see "the special feeling" as problem? Is that an understanding you came to by thoroughly investigating that feeling and let it speak for itself or is your view about your own feeling informed by the culture sourrounding you, adopted psychological theories or influenced by personal experiences of how you were treated?
I’ve been calling it cultural narcissism to avoid the particular pathological definition that strives to describe narcissism as an untreatable illness. In my taxonomy it is a learned and required behaviour in certain occupations. A film director being my prime example. Directors have to believe that their opinion is special. That’s their job.
Cultural narcissism has a nice ring. And it makes sense that the director believes their opinion is special, especially if they have a certain audience they want to reach, but that is a different thing than believing their self is special. Or do you view them as the same?
🤔 not sure of the same samo. Perhaps the interesting but singular perspective of a solo creator. Directors are collaborators. Even I can see that at the moment culturally, narcissism seems to be a catch all term that needs to be disambiguated.
This is what I was going to say. I lean towards there being some amount of greater potential to create generally-accepted beauty through potential narcissism in the medium that one wants to create that beauty in. For example when I look at this painting I think it's beautiful but I refuse to believe this man was not arrogant while creating it because in his position I would've been: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2d/Miranda_-_The_Tempest_JWW.jpg
I agree that narcissist people can create beautiful things, and perhaps even more beautiful things than others. I still think its a mistaken belief. I also think one can create extremely beautiful things and not be narcissistic.
I think there’s a simple (yet somewhat difficult) way to know if you have gone too far on the special feeling spectrum: would you do what you do regardless if it reaches other people or satisfies your other means? Doing it for the sake of doing the task?
Good heuristic.
I can't believe you would post this in peak Leo season (the most special and narcissistic of all signs), when both the Sun and Moon were practically touching under the sign of Leo. As a Leo Moon, I feel personally attacked.
As a Leo rising, I felt the duty to be the apex Leo for a special moment, calling all of us out.
This longing for attention is consequence of the fact we don't have quality attention.
It's our child mind that wants attention as opposed to giving it which is the role of the adult. We don't have enough adults.
Hence the penchant for superheroes?
I think so too.
Yet perhaps it's an adaptation of our times. We require youthful thinking to go through this transition.
This feels true.
I experienced "Non-novel doing, novel response = Surprised Special-Feeling" today yet didn't have the words to describe why it was so unexpected and joyful. Ah, now that you've unpacked this along the edge of your perch I see it likely came as result of a lifetime of little usual non special alone things that inspired someone to do something special I didn't even know about until the surprise arrived. You've offered a new lens I appreciate & will use to see more clearly. Thank you!
Nice article. How I think about this area is informed by a slightly different Buddhist take on egolessness than you've articulated here. That is, it's just not about the self - if you're trying to not have a self, if you're trying to under-inflate the self, if you're getting inflated sense of self, it's all about the self still. Tether your reference not to a sense of self at all, but something else. I like the "internal sense of satisfaction with quality of the work", similar to what you articulate, but it could also be to an external standard, like exist in academia, or perhaps to virtue, or the three transcendentals.
Peter, you are to my thoughts the opposite of the second law of thermodynamics. My thoughts follow the law and acquire entropy every time, but you reverse that process. I am afraid I am getting addicted to your texts and reflections as much as to my osteopath.
The bonus is that you always make me wander whether I fit on each category you describe.
I feel refreshed after each post. Thank you.
It would be good if we could move off the use of degraded psychological terms and concepts altogether.
Some of us are Vibing With Peter, and this article, in a Crew at Emergent Commons.
I concur with Richard. Unless you have been intimately involved with an actual narcissist, the word can be used causally and is essentially misunderstood. Once you have endured its special brand of abuse, it’s no longer funny or appropriate to cross-purpose the word so much. We need distinction and specificity for it to mean anything at all.
Why do you see "the special feeling" as problem? Is that an understanding you came to by thoroughly investigating that feeling and let it speak for itself or is your view about your own feeling informed by the culture sourrounding you, adopted psychological theories or influenced by personal experiences of how you were treated?